Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Love and Logic?

This is not something new, it just has a new name. This stuff has been around forever and is popular again. The reason it has come back around is because it works. Just like natural and logical consequences it makes sense to the adult and the child. Isn't that what we all want? When things make sense we do them, when we don't understand the reason why we are doing something we will fight doing it, especially if we don't want to do it in the first place.
Raising children is challenging today because they see so many different standards on TV and with their friends. Seldom are they told "no". I mean the kind of "no" that does not quickly become a "yes" because the parent or teacher is worn down by the child's arguments or reasoning. Do not try to reason with a child. Tell them the reason that they need to do something, like behaving might keep them from getting into trouble or that a sweater will help to keep them warm, but reasoning does not compute in their world.
Love is what we are all about. First a child needs to know that you love them. You do this by telling them and then acting like you care about what happens to them. What's that old saying? "They don't care about what you know until they know how much you care." We take care of children and help them when they need it or ask for assistance. Some children act sick to get attention. You do not need to take them to the doctor all of the time, sometimes just give them a little extra time and tenderness and a drink of water and they will get better.
Logic is shown when we use "I statements". "I will listen to you when you are talking quietly like me" or, I want you to eat here in the dining room with us so please speak kindly so you don't have to eat alone at the kitchen table". These types of statements let the child know your expectations and what the consequences are for following your directions.
For more good one line statements follow this link
I love learning about parenting. Wish that I had known all of this when my children were young. Oh yeah, some of this I did use with my children, it just didn't have a title, or a CD, or a book to follow. Happy parenting!!!

No comments: